How to know if my Yahoo messenger Id is added by somebody & I have do not have them in my Msgr list?

The answer to both questions is no. You cannot add people without the request being approved. Sometimes what happens is that when a request is sent out to allow you to add them to your friend's list the person contacted will choose Allow and not Allow and Add. That is how you can have people on your friends list but you are not on theirs. And vice versa. Someone might have sent you a request to allow them to add you and you just clicked Allow and not Allow and Add. And I do not know of any utility that will let you know whose list you are on. But there is a utility that will allow you to remove your name from someone's friend's list. If you are interested in that it is called Deny A Buddy and the link for that is a href="http://www.geocities.com/deny_a_buddy3/" rel="nofollow"http://www.geocities.com/deny_a_buddy3//a